Victim says you “almost exit your body and feel everything slipping away as you struggle to breathe”
A woman subjected to non-fatal strangulation by her partner has told how it was “the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced”.
Sarah was speaking as the PSNI revealed that they have made more than 1,750 arrests since the violent act became a specific criminal offence two years ago.
Recalling her terror, the victim of domestic abuse said: “You almost exit your body and feel everything slipping away as you struggle to breathe and lose control of your bladder. It is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced. Feeling another person’s hand on your throat and looking into their eyes as they squeeze is surreal.”
Survivor Sarah has urged anyone who has suffered it to report it to police and not to risk their life. Non-fatal strangulation or asphyxiation was made a specific criminal offence in Northern Ireland two years ago this month, and those found guilty can face up to 14 years in prison.
Non-fatal strangulation includes: any part of your body or another object, such as a ligature like a scarf or belt, chokeholds or headlocks, hanging, drowning or smothering.
From June 26 2023 to May 31 2025, police received 1,893 reports of non-fatal strangulation, and officers made 1,755 arrests resulting in 765 charges.
Detective Superintendent Lindsay Fisher said police figures indicate that between 10-12% of reporting domestic abuse victims have experienced non-fatal strangulation, placing them at the highest risk.
“In fact, studies have shown that in domestic abuse settings, victims are eight times more likely to be murdered by their partner if they have previously strangled them,” she said.
“We have made a significant amount of arrests and hit the ground running with this new legislation in just the first two years. 2,092 officers and staff have received specific training.
“We hope that this gives victims the confidence to come forward and continue reporting knowing that our officers are recognising and responding to the seriousness of this violent act.”
Speaking about her experience, Sarah, who has been a victim of non-fatal strangulation twice at the hands of her abusive ex-partner, said it was the most terrifying thing she had ever experienced. She reported it to police and as a result, the perpetrator pleaded guilty to both incidents.
“I remember the first time it happened, I couldn’t quite believe that this violent man had my life in his hands. Although the strangling only lasted a matter of seconds, it felt longer to me,” she said.
“You almost exit your body and feel everything slipping away as you struggle to breathe and lose control of your bladder. It is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced. Feeling another person’s hand on your throat and looking into their eyes as they squeeze is surreal.
“I am pleased that the police have hit the ground running with this legislation over the last couple of years and helped women like me get justice. To be listened to, believed and supported is all someone needs who has been through what I have.
“In any abusive relationship, the victim always feels guilt about the burden the trauma places on others around them. I am no different. Phoning the police that night as I sat broken on the top of my stairs was the best thing I ever did for me and my children. I have created distance between me and my abuser and we are finally safe.
“My message to others out there is – don’t risk your life by staying.”
DS Fisher said the health consequences are often delayed.
“It is common for strangulation to leave no visible signs of injury and consequences can be delayed by days or weeks,” she said.
“These include stroke, cardiac arrest, miscarriage, incontinence, seizures, memory loss and long-term brain injury. Consciousness can be lost after as little as four seconds. Blocking the jugular vein can take less pressure than opening a can of coke.
“Loss of consciousness indicates at the very least, a mild brain injury and many victims lose control of their bladder and bowels. Often, strangulation is glorified as a gratifying act for both parties in pornography and young people in particular are susceptible to thinking this could be a fun, ‘consensual’ act to spice things up.
“However, the reality is far from the case. Consent to rough sex is not a defence.”
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