If this sounds like you, you’re not alone. I recently worked with a client facing exactly this situation.
She and her husband were separating on good terms, and she really wanted to buy him out and stay in the home—not just for her own peace of mind, but to minimize disruption for her kids. But when we looked at her numbers, it became clear she was very far from qualifying for the mortgage she’d need on her own.
It’s a tough reality, but there are options—and they’re worth exploring before throwing in the towel or turning to expensive private lending.
What happens when your income isn’t enough to refinance the mortgage solo?
Let’s say you’re trying to refinance the current mortgage to pay out your spouse and take over full ownership. But the amount you need is somewhere in the ballpark of $650,000 to $700,000.
If your income can’t support that kind of debt on paper, chances are no regular institutional lender is going to approve you alone. And that means the dream of staying in the home could feel like it’s slipping away.
Your thoughts may turn to asking a family member to co-sign your new mortgage, but let’s say that idea hits a brick wall.
Don’t give up just yet. If the separation is amicable—and both parties are open to working together for a smoother transition—there are a couple of creative ways to structure the mortgage so you can keep the home, and still get a solid mortgage rate.
These scenarios are tricky—the earlier you get expert advice, the better.
Can I include my ex-spouse on the mortgage even after we separate?
Believe it or not, yes—and this might be the bridge between what you want and what’s financially possible. There are two approaches I typically see in situations like this.
Option A: Keep your ex on the mortgage as a guarantor
A guarantor doesn’t go on the title of the home—just the mortgage. So even though you become the sole owner of the property, you both remain liable for the mortgage. If you make all the payments, no problem. But if you default, the lender will come knocking on both your doors.
This can be a hard sell with some lenders—many aren’t comfortable with ex-spouses guaranteeing each other’s loans—but it’s not impossible. There are a few lenders who will consider this setup, especially if your relationship is respectful and cooperative.
We know which lenders to approach and how to package these kinds of applications to give you the best shot. Let’s talk through your scenario.
Option B: Add your ex as a co-signer with a small share of ownership
This route is more lender-friendly. You both go on the mortgage, and both go on the title—but through your lawyer, you can adjust the ownership breakdown to something like 99% in your name and 1% in theirs.
Again, you will be responsible for the mortgage payments, but your ex is equally liable if you default. And yes, even though you’re separating, lenders may accept this arrangement if it makes the mortgage work.
This is an option when someone simply can’t qualify in any other way. It opens the door to a standard, prime mortgage with a competitive interest rate—instead of going straight to private lenders with 6.99%+ rates, lender fees, and extra closing costs.
What if I go it alone and use a private lender?
If your ex won’t (or can’t) be part of the mortgage in any way, your only real option may be a private mortgage. But I’ll be honest, that’s not ideal unless it’s just a short-term bridge.
Private lenders charge significantly higher interest rates, usually starting around 6.99% and climbing from there. You’ll also be on the hook for lender and brokerage fees, which can add thousands to your closing costs.
Private mortgages can work in very specific scenarios—for example, if you have a clear, time-bound plan to boost your income or improve your credit—but they’re rarely a good long-term solution.
The bottom line
Keeping the family home after a separation is about more than just numbers—it’s about stability, continuity, and protecting what you’ve built. But if you don’t qualify on your own, you don’t have to walk away or overpay through a private mortgage.
If your ex is willing to be part of a creative but fair mortgage setup—whether as a guarantor or co-signer—you could keep the home, stay in control, and still land a low competitive mortgage rate. It’s not always easy, and it takes careful planning, but it can absolutely be done.
Going through a separation and trying to figure out your mortgage options? Your mortgage broker can help you run the numbers, explore lender-friendly strategies, and make a plan that works—for you, and for your future.
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Last modified: April 17, 2025
